Wholelife Coaching

How do you find a more meaningful career?

Mary Beth Shewan — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 03:59:03 +0000

First, decide that you will make finding your “ideal vocation” your goal. I say, “Ideal vocation” because that leaves wide open the possibilities and initially you want to approach the change from this perspective. As humans we often get caught up in the “how” before we even know the “what.” This will kill any creativity so you must not think about if a certain type of work exists, or pays enough, etc. You must only focus on the “what.”

Now, how you find the “what” is to begin with the “who.” Who are you? What are your passions? What self-imposed obstacles tend to derail you? What are your beliefs, values, spiritual perspective? What are your unique talents and strengths? Finally, what are your priorities in life? Once you can answer these questions, you will have a clear picture of your unique make up and finding meaningful work will mean aligning what you do with these core truths.

It is helpful to work with a coach to discover these truths, as a coach is an objective observer and can connect the dots for you when needed. The next step involves researching, sorting, and sifting through the world to find work that meets your criteria of being YOU. Now you are armed with the proper information so you don’t have to blindly read job postings and you don’t have to take others’ advice. In fact, it will benefit you greatly to let go of any need to please anyone but yourself.

Often, it is following the well meaning advice of family and friends that gets us off on the wrong career path to begin with and so you’ll need to march to your own tune this time. I really believe that each of us is chiseled by our life experiences in order to live out our purpose. When we clear away the mental clutter and tune into our feelings, the way forward is remarkable clear. We’ve grown up learning to trust our minds and ignore our hearts so we make “practical” decisions on our careers. Choices that leave us feeling empty. It’s no wonder so many individuals find no meaning at all in their work.

It takes courage and persistence to find “your ideal income” position and you simply aren’t living fully until you do.

Date Night with Self

Mary Beth Shewan — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 03:54:27 +0000

We are all so busy we miss deepening the relationship we have with the most important person in the world, SELF. I challenge you to schedule sacred time to be with you, a weekly date night. This time can be spent to create your dreams as long as it is all by yourself. Tell your friends and family that you would like their support to keep this time sacred. The key to keeping this time sacred every week is to schedule it into your time management system as you would any other important appointment. Still think you don’t have the time? Consider the last time you fell in love with someone. How quickly were you able to find “extra” time to spend with that person? I bet it didn’t take long before you were able to create lots of free time to devote to this person. Please, make the same commitment to yourself!

Now, while you’re spending this time with yourself, start compiling your life story. To begin, separate your life into decades. As you consider each segment of your life, complete the following sentences: the significant events during this part of my life were…, the one event I remember most is…, these events affected my life in the following ways:, the person(s) who influenced me most was (were)…, this part of my life affects me now in the following way….

As you look at the patterns and texture of your life a deeper understanding of who you are will emerge. Connect with the excitement and inspiration you feel as you consider certain ideas or goals. Here’s a tip to follow when creating the life of your dreams. Create the feeling of that new life every single day. Whatever you wish for in your life, it has a feeling attached to it; find that feeling and connect with it as often as possible. I often focus on my life being a meditation. That is, the divine connection I feel during my meditation will dominate the rest of my day. When I have this experience, it doesn’t matter what I’m “doing”. For I know that my life serves a higher purpose than that which is readily apparent to me. From this feeling place I make all the right choices, take all the right steps and I am grateful for the mystery in remembering who I am.

I hope this causes you to pause and remember who you really are. Peace and Love.

Managing Change in Your Life

Mary Beth Shewan — Mon, 31 May 2010 23:33:47 +0000

The only constant in life is change, how many time have you heard that? No longer do we live in a predictable society; just look at recent world events from a global perspective and you’ll know this to be true. So how do we find meaning and feel safe in the midst of constant change? How do we find joy in our day to day lives? I suggest that the only way to manage change is to commit yourself to personal growth and spiritual fulfillment, to be pro-active about the changes you accept in your life. This necessitates knowing and living from your life’s purpose. Life purpose is the big agenda for our lives; some people call it your path or soul purpose. Your life purpose is as unique to you as your fingerprints. It’s who you are and why you’re here on earth now.

At this point in your life, do you live from your life’s purpose? If you immediately answered yes to that question, congratulations and thank you for being “present” in the world. You approach life pro-actively by learning, growing, and being responsible. You likely feel confident, joyful, self-sufficient, invigorated and inspired. If you aren’t sure of the answer to that question than you probably aren’t living “on purpose.” If you aren’t living your life’s purpose you can view this as a gap between your performance and potential. It’s not that you’re a bad person or deliberately avoiding being your full self it’s just that your haven’t taken full responsibility for your life. We must acknowledge our deepest desires, our life’s purpose, in order to manage change. Once we understand our purpose, our future becomes clearer. It no longer just a dream because we are naturally inspired to plan; as we must be able on some level to see the journey from ‘here’ to ‘there’. At this point, life just flows. We adjust the plan occasionally as wonderful surprises, challenges, and countless opportunities come along, always knowing that we are performing our best, living from our life’s purpose.

Coaching can lead to an understanding of your life’s purpose, which in turn can lead to performance beyond your expectations and dreams. You can feel a sense of personal achievement by individually choosing goals to provide for optimal growth and spiritual fulfillment. Unfortunately, few people manage to view the changes in their lives as an opportunity for self-development. It is hardly surprising, therefore, that their lives lack sparkle.

Coaching is for Dreamers?

Mary Beth Shewan — Thu, 13 May 2010 19:35:25 +0000

I was talking to a very special individual earlier this week who described ‘coaching’ as being for people who had big dreams, (i.e., who are clearly after things that they envision), but can not yet touch. Many people believe that the path to accomplish their dreams is through a ‘to do’ list. While that is partially true, what is more accurate is that the path is paved by learning more about the unique individual that each of us is; what we truly want; asking and answering tough personal questions; holding ourselves more accountable; listening to our small voice inside and allowing this voice to guide us. Easier said than done, right?

Coaching does in fact shed light in each of these areas. To expand, let’s look at it through the eyes of business executive Michael Lynberg, author of The Gift of Giving: “Listen to that still small voice inside you. If you do not live your life completely, realizing goals you hold to be worthwhile, making your unique contribution to the world, nobody ever will. Your song will die with you.

“Many of us have discovered what we want to do with our lives. We havea purpose that resonates to the very core of our being. Somehow our lives will never be complete unless we answer this calling. But we refrain…the ‘still small voice’ whispers a dream…but later that day or the next our vision starts to fade…immersed in the practical, ourdreams and aspirations seem uncertain and perhaps a bit foolish.

“We plod the highway of conformity, each following the other. We seekwhat others seek–comfort, security, money, power, pleasure. We are not alone, but only a stranger to our better selves. Years leave wrinkles upon the skin. But this loss of enthusiasm leaves wrinkles upon the soul.

“It is impossible to tell another what path he or she should follow. Only you, in stillness and humility, can listen to that still small voice. Success and happiness are not distant goals to capture and hold. They happen incidentally while you are fulfilling yourself.”

Quote from Michael Lynberg in “If I Knew Then What I Know Now…CEO’s and Other Smart Executives Share Wisdom They Wish They’d Been Told 25 Years Ago”, by Richard Edler. You know that your inner voice is talking to you constantly, yes? Why not bring a little magic into your life this week and actually listen to it…what dreams are reoccurring and what desires are being unleashed?

What do you have to gain from honoring this voice? Where does it want to steer you? What does it want you to eliminate? To increase? To focus upon?

Enjoy some quiet time this week, away from your ‘to do’ lists, and see what transpires.

Peace and Blessings!

Creative Project Management

Mary Beth Shewan — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 23:34:33 +0000

Here are a series of steps to consider as you are developing a project:

Outcome: this is what you would like to happen. THINK BIG – you can always make adjustments
Why Will It Work: You’re confident about the above outcome – why do you think it will happen?
Introlerables: You have boundaries and limits – what are they? No matter how tempting the outcome, can you still honor yourself and maintain your sense of integrity and self worth.
Must Have’s: Certain things, conditions, and elements must be present to acquire and sustain your commitment to this process – what are they?
Things I Can Live With: These are the throwaways, the negotiable pieces you can give up without endangering your core values and principles – what are they?
How: How are you going to reach the above outcome? What are the steps necessary to do this?
Who: who will you need to facilitate your reaching your outcome? What role will they play? How should they be approached? Will they share the spoils?
What: What needs to be in place, or accessible to make this thing happen? What would you like to be in place ideally?
Where: Where or in what location would this process have to occur to best meet your needs and that of your clientele? How does where fit your needs and requirements? How does where fit the diversity and uniqueness of those within your market niche?
Goodness of Fit: Pause here and think about all the effort and work you have just put into your masterpiece and creation. This is how well you feel all of the above works interactively with each other to bring about your desired outcome. Do all the parts feel comfortable to you? While honoring others, are you honoring yourself?
Things I Cannot Change: Now that you have a sense of “Goodness of Fit” and perhaps you would like to “tweak” things, what things are not under your control and are exogenous to your solution set? You still desire to reach your outcome, but “outliers” can effect your central path. So what can you do about them?
When: As far as timing, when would be the best time for this process to start while taking advantage of market conditions, your own physical, mental, and spiritual place, and your ability to talk your talk, walk your walk?

Managing Change in Your Life

Mary Beth Shewan — Sun, 11 Apr 2010 18:38:06 +0000

Free to Choose Your Life?

Mary Beth Shewan — Sun, 04 Apr 2010 21:44:09 +0000

One tenant of freedom is choice. Being ‘at choice’ about our lives is the basis of free will. It also necessitates that we take responsibility for how we live and the circumstances surrounding our lives. As a coach, I ask clients to leave behind their usual reactive approach to life and embrace a proactive stance. This involves choosing the life that they want, rather than letting the circumstances of their lives choose for them. This is a challenging process for most people yet without this level of personal responsibility, we remain powerless. We live in an increasingly complex world where the ability to make discriminating choices is becoming more and more important. Although the notion of having it all has become popular, it just isn’t possible. In fact, the more we try to “have it all” the more our lives become out of control.

There is only so much time in a day therefore, we must focus on the two or three things that are most important to us and let go of the rest. Over time we create a sense of balance and well being. Once this sense of flow is experienced most wonder how they could ever have lived any other way. Not only is day to day life more joyous and exciting, priorities are clear making goals easier to achieve. As you look at the different areas of your life – career, money, health, personal growth, friends & family, significant other/romance, spirituality, community, fun & recreation, and physical environment, ask yourself how satisfied you are with each area. What areas of your life are out of balance right now? What effect is this having on your goals and aspirations? If you continue along the same path where will you end up in 10 or 20 years? Get started on the right path by setting goals and prioritize what is most valuable to you, but first imagine your ideal life. What is the big impact you wish to have upon the world? Each of us brings a unique set of talents and interests into this world. From a foundation of balance we are free to choose the full expression of our lives.

Life Purpose Questions

Mary Beth Shewan — Wed, 31 Mar 2010 00:26:09 +0000

Five simple questions to get help you relate to your purpose and ultimate feeling of fulfillment:

What am I here to contribute, what am I about, and what makes me light up and come alive?
What have I always known the most about, and been interested in forever? Is there just one thing, or are there
several?
What would I bring to a community, if it was my sole job to perform, and no one could perform it but me?
What am I continually asked to do?
What do people see in me, when they do truly see me?

Creating with Your Imagination

Mary Beth Shewan — Mon, 22 Mar 2010 22:07:15 +0000

Here’s a technique for imagining the future you want to create. It is based on the fact that the subconscious mind cannot distinguish between a real experience and one that is vividly imagined. In other words, events you’ve vividly imagined can produce psychological and physiological responses that are as significant as those that relate to actual events. Therefore, if you present the subconscious with negative goals, it operates impersonally as a failure mechanism. Present it with success goals and it will work just as hard as a success mechanism. As you develop the picture it becomes like a movie running in your head. Give it a try by writing out the following questions in as much sensory detail as possible. Then read the description and see yourself in the movie.

What is the positive outcome you want?

Where are you? Get as many details as needed.

What would you be doing?

What are all the sensory details of your vision? What would you see? Hear? Sense? Feel?

Notice your body.

What types of clothes would you be wearing?

How would you hold your body or what would your body posture be?

What type of expression would you have on your face?

Who would be with you?

If so, what would they be doing?

How would they respond to you?

What would they say?

How would you respond to them?

What do you want to be feeling in this image? Expand on that using all your senses.

What else would be important to add here?

20 Career Questions – Finding Authentic Work

Mary Beth Shewan — Mon, 22 Mar 2010 19:55:25 +0000

Would you do your job for no pay? Do you experience a sense of flow or peace while working? At the completion of work do you feel energized? If your answer to these questions is no, you may be among the millions of people who haven’t found their right livelihood. Consider what you need to contribute to the world in order to be fulfilled. While you may be experiencing the outward signs of success, do you still feel something is missing? What would it be like to connect with the unique expression of your spirit? If you’re looking for deep fulfillment and an overall sense of inner peace, you must have the courage to live in accordance with your life’s purpose.

Answer the following questions to begin exploring a career that matches your unique talents and gifts. Since most of us no longer fit neatly into job descriptions, many of us are left with a feeling of dissatisfaction at the completion of our work. This spurs many of us to explore self-employment as a way to express our gifts. This is just one option among many to develop the right situation for the full expression of your spirit.

My hope is that these questions will help you gain insight into what direction you career should take next and leave you exploring ways to move closer to authentic work for yourself.

What challenges and motivates me?
What inspires me?
What does the ‘perfect’ workday look like to me?
Think of a time when life was very inspiring for you. What caused you to feel fulfilled at that time?
What characteristics would a fulfilling job have for me?
It’s the end of your life; look back over the years, what must you have accomplished to feel a sense of completion?
What is your Life’s Purpose? Are you mostly “on” Purpose or “off” Purpose?
What areas of your life are out of balance right now?
What effect is this having on the rest of your life?
If you thought about working at something that you love, what changes would you make immediately?
What long-term changes would you like to plan?
How can the principle of life balance assist you in creating a successful career path?
What talents do I have, either developed or underdeveloped?
When I daydream about work, what do I see myself doing?
If I had unlimited time and resources, what would I choose to do?
When I look at my work life, which activities do I consider of greatest worth?
What do I consider to be my most important future contribution to the world?
Are there things I feel I really should do even though I might have dismissed such thoughts many times before for various reasons? What are they?
What legacy do I want to leave?
Where in my life am I selling out on myself?

Feel free to email me your answers and we can set up a complimentary session to dive deeper into your ideal career: marybeth@wholelifecoaching.com